Something different

Who would have guessed, but it turns out that being a recent college graduate just joining the workforce is freaking exhausting! So as a consequence I just don’t have it in me to take pictures and write things as often as I did when I was naught but a happy bum and instead I’m going to try making little bloglet posts every day or so. I’ll keep ten or so in this entry and then make a new entry for the next ten if it goes okay.

Bloglet 1. The worst part about not having any friends: just called Ikea about how to put my bed together and they said to have a friend hold one end and wiggle it apart BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS SO THIS IS USELESS TO ME. And also the metal cut my finger and now my new bed is already covered in blood. And also my roommate is out of town so I’m not just being melodramatic. Seriously considering bringing this big metal thing down to the street and offering someone five dollars to help me pull it apart. But then they’d probably cut themselves too and sue me and it would just be a big mess. DESPAIR.

Bloglet 2. Sunday at 1am: am completely mystified as to where this weekend went. Have about 2 hours of memories of the last two and a half days. This is probably the second worst part about not having any friends. Though I did successfully manage to pull the bed piece apart all by my lonesome, pathetic self! I used a hammer as a lever. Tools! They’re what set us apart from the monkeys. Also, thanks for the commiseration, Alex! Also, BEHOLD THE AWESOME!

That’s from Julia Wertz of The Fart Party! Duncan and I went to a comic reading of hers last Sunday and look at the awesome thing she wrote in my book!! In case you can’t read the bad scan, it says “Hihihi! I’m so happy you’ve come to all mah dumb shows! I still consider you the first real Fart Party fan! I heart U! Heart, Julia Wertz”!!! She said the first real fan thing because I went to the 2006 Alternative Press Expo in San Francisco just because she was there and it was amazing.

Bloglet 3. Sorry it took me so long to post this one, but I wasn’t sure if it was going to get me fired or something. Only one way to find out!

Buzz words that have been huge punching-urge triggers at this and past jobs:
– “Closing the loop” What does this even mean? NO ONE KNOWS BUT THEY USE IT ALL THE TIME.
– “Geeking out” Yes, this was a cute line in The Incredibles. No, you may not use it every single time you find anything exciting and want to sound “with it.”
-“Monetize” Arrrrgh, it’s not even a word! Stop trying to make it a word!
-”“ This is the sound of silence that everyone makes when they’re joking around and then I try and make a joke too and then they all act like I just unleashed a massive fart. Which causes me untold amounts of anxiety and this is mostly why my hair is still falling out. But the hair falling out is also because I can’t stop worrying even when there is nothing to worry about. It’s probably because of the ever-present threat of terrorism. And okay, silence is not a buzzword but give me a break, it’s 2 in the morning.
– Aaaaand I can’t tell you the final punching trigger. Because even though it’s not bad or anything, I’m trying to be extra super cautious about what I say about the company and I’m not sure if it’s okay to talk about. But it’s a funny one! So maybe I will tell it when I figure out boundaries. Okay, excellent. Well that was a lame ending, so here’s a picture!

It’s David Simon! He’s here for the weekend and we just got back from visiting my parents! We got delicious Julia’s Empanadas and saw a spectacular frog exhibit at the National Geographic Museum. And unrelated: Suzanne has a tiny green tree frog that she named Barbecue! Because she wants it to know its fate. Awesome.

— Sarah Beth